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This sign hangs in our bathroom right above our toilet 🙂 I keep a dry erase marker in a basket on the toilet, and we write private messages to each other every few days. Well, this one isn’t really private, but it was safe for public consumption, so I posted the photo. I didn’t make this myself, but someone in our church did (she saw the idea on Pinterest) and brought it to our annual silent auction. I’m convinced that it is the best money I ever spent.
Several months ago, I was at a crossroads in our marriage. It was a moment of decision- a literal watershed moment appeared before me. In pain and anger, I erased whatever had been written last and stared at the empty frame. I left the room, but the image wouldn’t leave my mind. It was a convicting reminder that love is a choice. Not a feeling. Not those warm fuzzies you get when you are incredibly happy, or he’s done something sweet and thoughtful. It’s not even about the love you have for the children that you’ve created together. It’s a decision to put the other’s needs above your own. It’s a vow you make to each other on your wedding day. And some days, it’s a test of your character and your Christianity. On that day, I wiped the tears from my eyes, deliberately picked up the marker and wrote, “Right now, I choose to.” There were no giddy, school-girl feelings influencing me. I wasn’t caught up in physical attraction. I merely chose to love someone else who had not been so loving to me- knowing that had the roles been reversed, I would want/pray/beg for the same consideration. And remembering that Christ does the same for me day after day, after day, after day……
This simple tool and reminder literally saved our marriage. And it keeps it fresh each and every day. It’s a reminder to ignore that dirty pile of clothes on the floor and remember the love that we choose to have for one another. And then the choice gives way to those giddy, school-girl flutterings that remind you why you were attracted to each other in the first place.
Hi, I'm Nicole!I love chocolate chip cookies, good grammar, and trying new things. Pinterest is my happy place. Come follow me down the rabbit hole!
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Josie says
(Visiting from SITS.) This is a fresh & inspiring post. I love the frame & your honesty. I will not forget this post.
Josie says
Oh, and I shared your post on Twitter but not through your site since I’m not a member of sharaholic (is that what it’s called? (lol 🙂
Nicole Burkholder says
Yes;) but you don’t have to be a member to share (at least it’s not supposed to be set up that way!)
Krista says
I love this tip! My husband and I are approaching our 11th anniversary and things could be better between us. I am definitely going to try this!
Nicole Burkholder says
Being purposeful about looking for things to say “I love you” for makes all the difference. It help you focus more on the positives. You won’t regret it! 🙂
Chelsea @ Married Filing Jointly says
Wow, this literally gave me goosebumps! You are right! We had the same idea although my marriage is at a high right now rather than low I hope the board similarly serves as a great reminder that when Satan tries to rock it we need to remember to love like God loves us even when the other person is hard to love!
Thanks for commenting.
Nicole Burkholder says
Fortunately, that part of our lives is behind us now. 🙂 I posted that last summer- but I was just updating the photo and including it in a roundup post yesterday. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by- love is definitely a choice!
Mommy Burkholder says
Here are a few of the facebook replies to this post. They were special to me, so I wanted to put them here with this post forever 😉
Amy M. Dolar ♥
17 hours ago · Like
Kara Brennan Wuchner Nicole, you are amazing, and such an example to me! I’m so happy you are my friend:).
10 hours ago via mobile · Like
Carrie Rench I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing your heart. What a great testimony of God’s grace in your life & what an example of love you exhibit to the rest of us. I can’t wait to see how God will continue to use you and this testimony to challenge & encourage others!
10 hours ago via mobile · Like
Crissie Wiyninger I love you, my friend! God has revealed Himself to you on amazing way! I’m so proud of you for making that choice-the right choice-even though it wasn’t the easiest one considering the present circumstances. You will be amazed as to how the Lord uses this as your minister to others and show, not just teach, your boys the love of God!!!
2 hours ago · Like · 1
Sarah Ann LeClercq You have always been an example to me, and this is yet another way! I was so encouraged by this blog that I came back and read it again! Thank-you for doing the right thing and teaching us “younger” ones! (LOL) Love ya!!
2 hours ago · Like
Sarah LeClercq says
This was such a blessing and a great reminder! Thank-you!!